Always the Auntie, Soon to be Mommy!

Still Positive!

2011-01-26T21:42:00.002-06:00

Well, I feel like I've all but abandoned this blog. I have just been so afraid to be completely comfortable and happy with this pregnancy. I feel like shouting from the rooftops inside, but I'm afraid to get too overconfident. I'm officially out of the first trimester though, so I am starting to feel like this is really happening! We had the first trimester screen a couple weeks ago and it turned out great. The little bugger was bouncing around while we were trying to get pictures. It was so cute. I never thought a little blob bobbing around on a tv screen would bring me to tears! We have another checkup in another week and a half. I can't wait to hear that heartbeat again. On March 4th, we will hopefully find out the gender! Its just gonna keep getting better and better from here on out! Can't wait to start buying pink or blue!

I ended up doing progesterone shots for the full first trimester. They weren't too much fun, but I do think they really had a large part in helping out the problem. I was lucky that I didn't have much for morning sickness. I learned to just keep chewing or sucking on something at all times. Then it was pretty much fine. Now I just like to eat all the time! I don't feel like I'm getting any bigger yet which I'm a little disappointed about, but I'm sure I will be starting to expand soon!

On another note, I'm currently watching Toddlers & Tiaras. Has anyone else seen that show? Does anyone else think those moms are slightly on the crazy side!? Maybe thats not the right word to describe it, but seriously! Spray tanning, fake eyelashes, etc. on toddlers?! I mean its one thing to want to dress up your little girl, but do they have to look like adults?

Shocked

2010-11-30T20:52:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it. It actually worked!! I'm so excited, but I'm also so nervous. I have an ultrasound on Thursday to listen to the heartbeat. I can't help but start looking through baby names, but I'm afraid I'm going to be disappointed. I guess I just have to be positive and enjoy every minute!

Try try again

2010-10-20T21:59:00.001-05:00

IUI #1 was a failure. Once again I didn't even make it to the day they told me I could test. My cycle was 25 days and I got AF. So back I went to the doctor for try number two. I brought up the fact that my cycle was only 25 days and it had only been 9 days since the IUI, so the doctor commented my luteal phase was short. She said my lining looked nice and thick though, so I don't understand exactly what that means. I have also had my progesterone tested in the past at a previous doctor's office and they said it was fine. I just dont understand how everything can be fine and yet I never seem to get anywhere. The doctor said they are going to have me do progesterone shots this time though. I hope that will do the trick. It will be hard especially since DH will have to do them, but it will be so beyond worth it if it works. At the very least I'd like it to hold off AF long enough for me to have the thought that I might actually be pregnant!

Love my Hubby!

2010-10-02T21:30:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to give a quick update on how proud of my husband I am right now. We just did my trigger shot and this time my husband did it for me. (Last time I had to do one at home my aunt who is an RN gave it to me.) My husband hates shots! Every time he had a shot in high school he fainted about 10 minutes afterward. Actually, our first ever appointment with the RE last year, he almost fainted while we were just in the room talking with the RE. He didn't even have to do any procedures. But tonight he sucked it up and gave me my shot like a champ! To be honest, I'm not sure I could do the same if he ever needed one. Giving myself shots is one thing, but doing it to someone else would be iffy. Love him!

We have the IUI on Monday morning. I will be trying to think of only positive thoughts for the next 2 weeks!

New Month

2010-09-26T13:24:00.000-05:00

This month I went back to the doctor. We have decided to do an IUI. I went to a friend's baby shower last week and I cried all the way home. I really didn't think it would be that big of deal, but apparently I don't have a handle on things as much as I thought. So after that, I decided that I'm not waiting around anymore. I'm a little scared that the IUI will not work and then I'll be even more devastated. I think that is probably why I've waited so long to go ahead with it.

I'm doing Menopur with no Follistim this time since I had too good of response to it the first time. I think I could handle twins, but any more than that would be pretty scary! I have another checkup on Tuesday to see how my follicles are progressing. I'm praying that this is what we have been needing all along!!

Denial?

2010-08-21T10:21:00.001-05:00

So I was just reading some articles about TTC and once again came across one about the correlation of stress reduction and increasing fertility. I'm just kind of sick of reading articles like that! I really don't feel that stress has anything to do with my infertility. Then I just had a thought. Am I in denial about how much stress I'm feeling? I certainly have those days when I'd just like to cry all day long, but on most days I really feel like I still have a good attitude. I don't want this to consume my life.

I think I've always been pretty laid back about most things. My husband is like that as well. We built a new house two years ago. We heard quite a few times from different people that if we could survive that, our marriage was golden. I barely remember having any disagreements about it at all. Now picking out cabinets and looking at carpet samples is nothing compared to the challenge we are facing now with infertility, but it still seems like we have been laid back about everything. So again, that makes me wonder. Are we just burying the stress and frustration we feel?

I've been reading "Conquering Infertility" which offers many different ways to meditate and relax. After reading a couple chapters, I always think to myself that I'm going to put those exercises into practice. The trouble is I always seem to forget about them during the rest of my days. Am I in denial or just not stressed enough to need them?

Blah

2010-08-06T23:28:00.000-05:00

That's pretty much what I feel right now. Blah. I'm back to CD7 again. AF arrived last weekend and my last cycle was only 22 days again. I just keep feeling like there is something wrong when this happens. That isn't normal! How could none of the tests come up with anything? So this month I'm blah. My 10 yr class reunion was also last weekend and I did not hold back on the alcohol. I haven't drank more than one drink at a time in probably a year. The next day I remembered why! But it was kind of nice just to let loose and not think about what I should or shouldn't be drinking or eating. Since then I've kind of continued eating or drinking whatever I want. I have had way too much caffeine this week but again I just feel blah. I did finally start reading the other book I purchased months ago, "Conquering Infertility". It has some relaxation techniques included that I'm going to try. This month might just end up being a month off. No worrying, no diets. Then I think we need to really start considering IUI. I'm just scared to try expensive procedures when they can't figure out why I'm not getting pregnant!

My new job is going pretty well so that helps. My new boss is really nice. She asked me how long I have been married and I said 4 yrs. Then she immediately said, "And no kids? You gotta get on that!" I was actually kind of relieved that she brought it up though since I'm probably going to have to fill her in if we do decide to do IUI or IVF. My vacation doesn't kick in until October 24th and I'm not really sure that I want to wait that long to take time off for the doctor's visits. I'm just sick of thinking about it at this point though, but even when I say we are going to take a break, I know I'm not going to stop thinking about it.

Irritated

2010-07-28T21:32:00.000-05:00

I just got done reading an article about Melissa Rycroft (ex-Bachelor contestant). She recently announced that she and her new husband are expecting. That part only stings a little. The part that really got me was when she said "we weren't even trying". I wish the rest of the world would be more aware that there is a large percentage of the population that can't have kids even when they are trying! Just annoying. Why was that comment even necessary?

Employment!

2010-07-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

I will be starting a new job a week from today! It's exciting and a bit scary, but at least it will keep me busy! Again, I'm hoping it will help me get my mind off TTC and that will help things in that department! My AF was a little unusual last week, so I guess we will see what this month brings. I'm taking low-dose aspirin and evening primrose oil every day now. I'm continuing to try to eat healthy but since July 4th that has not been going the best. There has been a lot of hot dogs and brats on the grill which I'm sure don't have too much nutritional value. I have been trying to eat lots of steamed broccoli though which is like a super food from what I've read. Anyway, I'm just hoping this job will bring good things and I'm hoping to get out of this slump that I've been for the last couple months.

It's July

2010-07-06T22:19:00.000-05:00

Another cycle down and not much to show for it. Here it is CD 26 and I'm spotting. So I guess not much has changed as a result of any of my new diet or residual affects of the shots. I already have started thinking about what the plan is for this month though. I had purchased Primrose Oil a couple weeks ago not knowing that you only take it during the first half of the cycle. I will be adding that to my plan. I have already added low dose aspirin. I'm making sure to take it with food because I've read that it could damage the stomache lining. I also got out my Infertility Yoga dvd today. I'm going to try to do that a few times a week now. I think part of my problem is that I'm not consistent with anything I've tried, but I am going to try to be better about that. Its really hard when I have an addiction to Dr. Pepper though!

In other news, my mom told me my sister-in-law is expecting. It made me a little more sad for myself, but mostly I am very happy for her and my brother. My SIL is 35 and she has always said she didn't want kids, but I really think my brother will make a great dad so I'm glad they reconsidered. I would hate for anyone to miss out on such a wonderful part of life! I'm praying that the pregnancy goes smoothly. She has had some issues before with cysts and I'm not sure what else. I am so excited for them. My mom also wanted to tell me because she thought it would give me renewed hope. I guess they were trying for a year and a half and had the age issue working against them. I'm hoping under 2 years is the magic number for me. I have read a lot of success stories lately of couples who had been trying for around 2 years. I'm about 2-3 months shy of that milestone.

I also got a call about a job possibility today. I have an interview on Monday, so that helped cheer me up a little as well!

Another month

2010-06-18T08:51:00.000-05:00

To recap the passed couple weeks, I had a couple follicles this time instead of 10, so we did the trigger shot but got AF before I could even take a test. Now we've decided to take a couple months off from medications and just try on our own. I've been trying to eat my veggies and stay away from junk food as much as possible. Nobody is perfect though and I don't think we should have to be!

I'm still looking for a job although I'm taking a very leisure approach to it. My husband doesn't seem to care too much that I'm not in any hurry. He mostly just wants me to stay relaxed about it. He says I've been in such a better mood lately when he comes home. So I really hope my relaxation and healthy eating will make the difference for us! Yesterday I also ordered a Fertility Bracelet. Its just a cheap one I found on Amazon, but I saw on the Real Housewives of New Jersey that Jacequeline was having problems staying pregnant and then a friend bought her a Fertility bracelet (not the same one I bought though) and she got pregnant and was able to deliver a baby boy! So I figure it can't hurt and it wasn't that expensive, so I'm not out much. Every little bit has to help! :)

Almost Healthy

2010-05-27T21:05:00.000-05:00

I've had a terrible cold for this entire week. It started last Friday and I'm still not 100%, but much better. I did have my appt on Monday and I'm doing the Follistim and Menopur again just half the dose, so hopefully I don't have the same problem as last time! I have another appt tomorrow to check my progress. I really don't want to have to cancel again!

In other news, we finished planting the garden tonight! I had finished the tomatoes earlier today, but it was so hot I had to take breaks. I feel pretty weak after laying around for four days being sick! I'm looking forward to a long weekend with my husband. Its so weird being home all day when he isn't there!

Busy May!

2010-05-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

Well, our TTC natural month has come to an end. It is currently CD3. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow for baseline ultrasound and discuss possibilities for this cycle. I really thought it would happen this last cycle though because we have been busy every weekend and I wasn't thinking about it as much as usual. We visited my husband's parents one weekend. Then it was my birthday weekend so we had a little vacation. Then we had to go back to my husband's hometown for his great-grandma's funeral. As a result of all that though, my diet has kind of taken a back seat.

Friday was my last day at my job of over 5 years. I wasn't very surprised to be laid off because I have not been very busy for the last few months. My boss was crying when he told me. I'm pretty ok with it at this point though. I'm looking forward to some time off and hopefully looking for a job won't be too stressful. The only real problem is that I will now have to switch to my husband's insurance and I have no idea how much it is or isn't going to cover. Thus far my insurance has covered all ultrasounds and all I've paid is my copay. It has been really nice. We will see how it goes I guess.

So I'm just hoping my time off will lead to good things! I am going to focus on eating healthy and exercising. We are fortunate enough to be able to live off my husband's salary with no problems, so I shouldn't have to be too stressed about it.

Project IF

2010-04-26T22:18:00.002-05:00

National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24th - May 1st)

I'm fairly new to this. I never imagined the first time I started googling infertility that there were so many others out there like me. I just feel very lucky to be alive during this time when we have access to such a wealth of information right from the comfort of our own homes. A time that makes it possible for us to cope in so many different ways whether we choose to make it public or private.

The question that really seems to stick with me at this moment is WHAT IF I can never experience pregnancy? I do feel like I will be a mother some day even if that eventually ends up being through adoption. I just don't know if I will ever be able to accept not being able to experience the whole process. Will I always feel jealousy when I see a pregnant woman? Will I ever be able to let that feeling go and just enjoy being a mom? Will I always feel resentment for having to endure a lifetime of periods for nothing?! At least for now, I still have some time before I have to answer this What If.

And finally....WHAT IF I do get pregnant?! I think it will be the most exciting thing I have ever experienced AND the scariest thing I will ever experience. We are going to be responsible for another human life! I mean I think we are pretty good fur baby parents, but lets face it, they pretty much take care of themselves besides the feeding and watering part. I think there is going to be a little more involved with bringing a human being into this world! We are so looking forward to the most challenging and exciting adventure of our lives!

Info on infertility:
http://www.resolve.org/infertility101

Background of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW):
http://www.resolve.org/takecharge

Breaktime

2010-04-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

I did establish that I was in fact getting a visit by AF. So I went in for another ultrasound yesterday, and I had many cysts this time. When I think about it though, I don't think it really came as much of a surprise. I mean it was literally a week before that when they were saying I had 10 mature follicles. I don't see how its possible for all of those to clear up in a week. I mean usually there is a 2 week wait and my body was forced to speed that up because of the Provera.

So now we have to take a month off again which means we will just try naturally. The doctor made the comment that going on birth control for a month would make sure the cysts clear up, but I was really not fond of that idea and he wasn't really either. So with my over active ovaries, I'm hoping they will still have some of that left over this month! Plus I'm still mostly following my diet plan, so of course I'm still hoping this is the month! How great would it be to just get prego on our own!

My birthday is in two weeks and I usually go to my fav mexican place and have margharitas. I decided that I shouldn't partake this year. Both of my books pretty strongly suggest that you not drink alcohol. I will be having my cheesecake though!! Still haven't figured out where we are going to go.

AF?

2010-04-17T23:26:00.000-05:00

Still taking the Provera and I started spotting yesterday. Not sure if that is normal or not. I can't believe I would be getting my period already. It just doesn't seem natural. I'm only on CD16! It hasn't been more than just a very very light flow and its pretty much just brown. So I'm just going to wait until I see more I guess. They always tell me that its not CD1 until its full flow, so we'll see I guess. I'm afraid this next cycle is going to end up just a natural try.

On another note, my parents new house is finished. Its been done for two days and they still aren't moving in. I never knew the extent of my mother's procrastination until now. She has hardly packed anything and she wants to buy a new bed, but waited until the last minute and they were all out of stock! So I'm trying not to stress out about it since she doesn't seem to care. Today we worked on our own yard. We built a new house a year and a half ago and have had to do a lot of landscaping, but its easier this year since we have some grass started! It just kind of feels never ending, but someday I hope to be able to sit back and relax on the deck while looking at our beautiful landscaping!

Always look at the bright side

2010-04-12T20:29:00.001-05:00

Apparently I'm not very good at this blogging thing! I'm going to make an effort to do better! So a lot has happened in the last 11 days. Here is a recap:

I went in April 5th for my beginning of cycle appointment and had my baseline ultrasound. Everything was good, no cysts, so we could proceed to next adventure! I talked with the PA and she recommended that we give injectables a try since I have tried oral meds for 6 cycles. She said that since my husband's tests were good that we could continue to try relations on our own. I was surprised they didn't want to have us try an IUI as well, but the longer we wait on any transfer procedures, the longer my insurance still covers all the doctors visits and ultrasounds. It was a little scary to start involving needles, but after the first couple, it seemed like no big deal. I did 3 days of Follistim and 4 days of Menopur.

Today I had another ultrasound to check up on my progress. She had mentioned that I would need to be watched a little more closely to make sure things weren't getting out of hand. Well, things are out of hand! They counted 10 mature follicles and a few more that were close!! She said that is the kind of results they see for an IVF cycle, and I was on a low dose of the drugs. Then came the not so great news. She told me that I pretty much had two options. One would be to cancel this cycle because trying on our own was just too much of a risk. On the one hand, I really just would like to see if I actually could get pregnant (and what better way than with 10 chances!), but on the other hand, I guess I really don't want to end up an Octomom! She said the other option is that we could do IVF!! Yikes! She said we were already half way through the process so it would be about half the cost. Well, it was really tempting, but we decided it was way too much of a rush. If we decide at some point to do IVF, we want to make sure every step is done right so we have every chance of it working. It was really disappointing to make that decision especially since that means I definitely won't be getting pregnant by my birthday! I really didn't want to work today, but I made it through and I am feeling better again.

On the bright side, I guess this means that my ovaries do work! It just makes me want to scream a little bit though. I mean it seems like if I respond this well to the meds that I really don't need them! So why am I not pregnant!? Why why why!? And then it also makes me think that maybe my dieting is actually working and thats why the meds worked so well. So the question is what to do next month? Maybe we should go back to trying on our own? Maybe we should just take the plunge and go for IVF? I dont think my husband is quite ready for that, but the PA also mentioned that the nice thing about IVF is that they can actually get in there and look around a bit. They would also be able to tell if my eggs are actually viable. It would be nice to be able to check some more stuff off the unknowns list. So far we have checked off Sperm, Tubes open, Ovulating, and every mid-cycle ultrasound they tell me my lining looks good. So does that mean my CM is not an optimum swimming environment? Is there something actually wrong with my eggs? Is my uterus hard to navigate or something? I don't know if that can be an actual problem, but who knows!

So now I'm starting Provera which is apparently supposed to help me get my period. Thats something I've never had a problem with so I'm wondering how soon I will get it. This will be the first time in a long time I will be happy to see AF! It will be a nice break!

Better

2010-04-01T21:10:00.000-05:00

I've calmed down today. So once again I'm going back and forth about the IUI thing. My husband thinks we should try the same thing one more time. I'm just so tired of waiting. I really want to be pregnant before I turn 28. Only one more try left before then.

I ordered two more books though! I've decided thats my current way of coping. Cram my brain with as much knowledge about my body as possible. The first book is called "Making Babies: a proven 3 month program for maximum fertility." I read some reviews on it and one person had also purchased The Infertility Cure which I have been trying to follow. They said this one is easier to understand. I want to see what the differences and hopefully similarities in the diet that I'm currently following. If there are no similarities, I'm not really sure which one I will follow! The second book is called "Conquering Infertility." This has also gotten very good reviews. I'm hoping it will give me some tools to truly cope with what is happening. In case I don't get pregnant before my birthday, I don't want to end up in some sort of depression! I'm trying to figure out what I should do for my birthday. I'm probably going to take a day or two off and have a long weekend, but where to go?! Cheesecake Factory is calling my name, but its against my diet rules. I should be allowed to break them for my birthday though!

BFN

2010-03-31T19:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I took a test tonight after I got home from work. Not even a hint of a second line. I'm going to take another one tomorrow morning just cause they say morning urine has the highest amount of HCG. I'm not very hopeful at this point. I feel like if I was pregnant, I would be feeling different but I guess thats not for sure. Then I have to call the doctor's office and let them know. I wonder if they will have me come in and take a blood test to be sure?

So if I confirm that I am not pregnant, I think we are moving on to IUI. I thought I was going to try a couple more months with just the tamoxifen, but I don't feel like waiting anymore! I'm going to ask if I can just do it the first time without the high powered shots. I know I've read lots of women just use clomid. I had two large follicles with the tamoxifen, so I don't think that is the problem. I don't want to end up with like 7 follicles and have a basketball team!! I'll probably do some more reading on it and see what the doctor says.

1 week down!

2010-03-25T20:54:00.000-05:00

One more week and I can take a test! It would be so wonderful to have it work this time! I'm afraid to start thinking of the next step if this doesn't work again. My diet is still going well. I have cheated on a few things, but haven't had any candy, fast food or technically any junk food for two weeks! I say technically because I have been eating tortilla chips with homemade guacamole, but they are whole wheat so they can't be all that bad!! I also haven't had any caffeine. Dr. Pepper sounds so good right now!

I also still have an uncomfortable feeling on both sides of my lower abdomen. More so on the left. I don't know if this is my ovaries or maybe some kind of side effect of all the additional fiber I've been eating. It comes and goes throughout the day. We'll see what comes next week I guess!

2WW

2010-03-21T20:19:00.000-05:00

Here I am again. The wait begins! I had an ultrasound Thursday morning and I had two follicles already big enough! It was only CD13! I don't know if it was me responding better to the Tamoxifen this time or if my new diet really is helping or maybe both. Last time my follicles were not big enough until day 15. So they gave me an HCG shot and off I went. We have had intercourse the last three days, so hopefully we hit the right time! I was very uncomfortable for a couple days, so hopefully that is normal. Possibly because my left ovary had two large follicles, maybe there just wasn't enough room for it.

So I've been taking it easy this weekend and I have the day off tomorrow because my husband was using up some vacation time anyway. I'm hoping some rest and relaxation will help the process as well. I've also decided to eat a little bit of pineapple for a few days because I've read that is helps implantation. I decided to forego the accupuncture this month because I just didn't feel like it was doing anything. It also took an hour and half each appointment, so I had to take off a lot of work. Anyway, lots of prayers and baby dust!

Hopeful

2010-03-14T20:52:00.001-05:00

I've been on my new diet for about 6 days now. This weekend wasn't the best though. I went out for a drink before a movie with a friend on Friday night and today we had a birthday party to go to. Both occasions are not good for dieting. Anyway, back on the horse tomorrow!

I also saw the doctor on Tuesday and my cyst was cleared up. He suggested that I try Tamoxifen again. He said the cyst was actually a good sign which I didn't really understand but I guess I will trust him since he is the expert! I have another u/s on Thursday to check my follicle size. I'm assuming its going to be a little too soon for the trigger shot if we do that again. Last time I had to come back on cd15 and then they were developed enough. I'm not sure how that will work since that will fall on a weekend though. I'm hopeful my new eastern medicine diet will assist the western medicine.

On another note, the friend that I went to the movie with has 6 month old twins which were conceived by accident. She asked me if I had thought about ever using a surrogate if it would ever come to that. She proceeded to say she had discussed with her husband possibly offering to be a surrogate for us. I didn't cry then but on the way home after I had dropped her off I was just in complete tears. I just realized what a great friend she is to even consider it. I don't know that is something we would do. I would just be so afraid that something would go wrong and it would ruin our friendship. She really is the best friend I have ever had and I would hate to lose that.

CD1 Again

2010-03-06T17:39:00.000-06:00

Well, this didn't come as much of a surprise. Although I was a little surprised by the fact that yesterday I was on CD22, so that is officially my shortest cycle since I started paying attention over a year ago. I'll be going back to the doctor Monday or Tuesday and will be discussing this. Hopefully my new book will be in the mail on Monday as well!

Other than that, I am having a great weekend. I went out for lunch with a great friend (previous co-worker). She is actually also TTC, but it has only been a few months, so she is not seeing an RE. I really hope she doesn't have to go that far. I know I will be a little let down if she gets pregnant before me, but I will be happy for her.

Tonight we are going to a friends house for supper and Margaritas!! The upside of my getting AF is that I will have no guilt about drinking tonight! I feel like I deserve a chance to really sit back and relax tonight! Especially before I start reading a book that is probably going to lead me to start a strict diet for the next few months!

Thinking

2010-03-03T22:32:00.001-06:00

I have had too much time to think lately. My job is slow, so I'm constantly counting down the minutes. I'm currently on CD20. I have one more week to find out if by some miracle we got pregnant on our own. Right now I just don't feel like that is very likely. I just want to scream. Why us?! Why can't we just get pregnant like every other couple around us?! I don't want to inject myself with a bunch of drugs. I don't want to spend our life savings without some assurance that we will end up with success. I mean if someone told us that spending a bunch of money is going to get us our baby, I wouldn't give it a second thought! But what if we can't get pregnant? What if we are left with a mountain of debt and nothing to show for it? I am trying to trust that this is all in God's plan, but it is just so hard sometimes. It's hard to understand why we have to go through pain to reach happiness. Why can't life just be a fairytale? Although now that I think about it, the characters in fairytales usually have some obstacle to face before getting to the happy ending. So I guess infertility is just one of those fire-breathing dragons or evil witches along the way. Luckily I'm married to my prince who will be there to rescue me.

Well, enough of my emotional outburst. It really helps to be able to vent sometimes though! I'm already feeling better. I ordered a new book tonight. It's called "The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies". I really don't want to wait around for results, but I am hoping to find a way to get pregnant without too much extra medicine. It also makes me feel better to gain as much knowledge about my body and the fertility process as I can. That includes all kinds of medicine. I will go to the RE again if this month isn't a success, but I'm 99% decided that we will not do IUI the next cycle. I need to feel like we have tried all other avenues before we start down that road. I've been trying to eat healthier and get some extra nutrients that I've read about. I'm hoping to find something in this new book that will give my body what it needs to become a healthy place for baby.

Therapy

2010-03-01T19:26:00.001-06:00

Here I am, 1 year and 7 months after we made the decision to stop birth control and have never seen a positive. I've been reading other blogs for a couple months now and it has helped me a lot, so I thought it was time to go one step further and share my story as well. I'm hoping it will be therapeutic for me as well as others who may stumble across this blog.

My infertility journey started about 9 months ago when I decided to see a doctor. I had used ovulation tests and tracked my temperature for a few months. I felt like we had been doing everything right (at the right time) and still had no results. Tracking my temperature cued me into the fact that I have a pretty short cycle (26 days) and luteal phase (usually less than 10 days). I didn't want to keep waiting.  They immediately gave me a progesterone test, but it came back fine (supposedly). I was really hoping it was going to be something easy like that. So then the doctor recommended that I try Clomid. 3 cyles later...still nothing. My doctor then referred me to a specialist. Doesn't really make you feel good when your doctor says there is nothing more she can do so I have to go to an expert!

Upon my first visit to the RE, they gave me an ultrasound, drew a LOT of blood and scheduled an HSG. Follicles on both sides, blood tests normal, and a week later would have the HSG and find that my tubes are open.  I also did the Clomid challenge and they found one of my levels was slightly elevated but nothing to worry about. Not sure what that means! My husband was also tested and came back great!

Last month we tried Tamoxifen with HCG trigger. They also decided to put me on progesterone which did lengthen my cycle! (I've always felt like they tested me too soon in my cycle.) Anyway, no positive, but they found a cyst on my left ovary so I'm currently taking a month off while it hopefully clears up on its own.

The RE asked last month if we wanted to try IUI, but I found out if I do that my insurance stops covering anything! Up to this point, the ultrasounds and various tests have been somewhat covered. If that stops, its really going to start getting expensive in a hurry!

My current position is that I want to try progesterone and maybe timed intercourse for a couple more months before we try that. I just don't feel like we have given it any time. It also scares me that we don't even really have a reason for all this. Unexplained infertility as far as the doctors are concerned although I'm still clinging to the low progesterone self-diagnosis.  I also read that any given month we pretty much have a 15% chance of getting pregnant. Fifteen! And that keeps going down with each year! Makes me wonder why I was ever on birth control!

So there it is, the beginning of my story. It only took me two days to write and I don't even know if anyone will read it, but somehow it really does help! If anyone is reading this, thanks for listening!